I'm still not sure which lesson I'm being taught, but am pretty sure I'm being taught something. I was offered a job (thankfully!), but said job pays half the amount I was previously making. This has been really hard for me to swallow...not necessary for financial issues, but for pride issues. I asked God to provide me with a job an He did. It wasn't the job I was hoping for, but I know there's a reason He chose this job for me. My next big issue to work through (seems like there are a lot of these lately) is to get over my pride and learn to accept the path God leads me down.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
As the new year begins, I'm having a hard time entering with a positive attitude. 2011 was a year filled with many blessings, all of which I'm very thankful for. It was also a year that I struggled with accepting God's plan for my life. I'm very organized, sometimes to a fault. I like to plan out every detail of my day, week, and yes, even life. This relentless planning often is my own demise. I would love to be able to obtain a career in which I can grow. Maybe I place too much of my self identity in a job, but this has always been a desire of mine. In my three years as a technical writer, I was excited at the prospect of moving up the corporate ladder in this particular field. Unfortunately, this job ended in December and left we with many questions, sadness, and uncertainties. I think I've finally been able to accept the fact that as a military wife, I will most likely never be able to obtain a job that I could call a career. At the same time, I'm still struggling to accept other areas in my life that aren't currently matching up with my plan. I would love to receive a master's degree, but it's not financially feasible right now. I would love to have children, but that's not in God's plan for the time being. One of my favorite verses is Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." It's comforting, through all my worrying, knowing that His plans are best.
Josh will be gone 9 months out of 2012. So how do I look at this new year and enter it with excitement and hope? I hope this post doesn't sound like I'm not thankful for the situation I've been put in. That's not the case at all! In fact, I wouldn't change it for a thing. I am so thankful for a wonderful husband, a comfortable home, and loving family and friends. I know I have countless things to be thankful for (all of which I am extremely thankful for). I plan to make the best of the 9 months that Josh is gone. The only way to go into a situation like this is with a positive attitude (and constant faith and trust in God). I definitely believe that this time away will only make our marriage stronger. I believe that this time will force me (thankfully) to lean on God more.
So cheers to 2012! I pray that it will be a wonderful year!