Tuesday, June 2, 2015

The Journey Continues

Today marks three weeks that Josh has been gone. 2 more to go! I can't wait for him to be back home - the pups and I miss him terribly. The last couple of weeks has been a bit of a whirlwind for me. I started having health issues since arriving in Alabama. After lots of blood work and other (quite disgusting) testing, it looks like I have hypothyroidism, or as my Dr said "a malfunctioning thyroid." I also had a pelvic ultrasound and a thyroid ultrasound done (results have not been sent yet). I won't go into detail but I've had a lot of strange things that have happened that don't seem to make sense. It hasn't been terribly easy trying to deal with all of this physically and emotionally while Josh has been gone.

Not only have I been struggling physically, but I've also been struggling emotionally.

My anxiety seems to be worse too. I'm not going to try to sugar coat anything by saying that I don't struggle with this - because I do and have for a long time. Some days are fine. Some days aren't.

Some part of me thought that as soon as we started our adoption process, that everything was going to be ok. That, emotionally, I was going to be fine. Turns out, that's not true :). We live on post with lots of military families...and they all have children. I see this every single day. In a way, I feel isolated. I feel like we're the only ones without children and that families won't want to hang out with us because we don't have children to play with their children.

I'm ready to be excited for our child that God has for us. Don't get me wrong, I'm very excited about the thought of adoption but right now, that's exactly how it feels....like it's just a thought. We're really focusing on saving so the adoption process is moving along slowly.

I'm not trying to be a debbie downer. I'm just being real. Now I'm going to go grab another cup of coffee (which my doctor advised me against) and look forward to this beautiful day (because it really is)!