Sea Eagle Drive

It's crazy to think that Josh and I are selling our first house together. We haven't been there long but have enjoyed it so much. I've enjoyed it more since Josh was deployed for 7 months out of the 2 years we've had it :).

We've never done this whole selling a house things so we're not really sure what to expect. It's been on the market for 2 weeks and we've had a handful of showings but no offers. If we don't get something soon, we'll have to lower the price since we need to move in less than a month.

We're actually pretty proud of the minor updates we did to the house when we had it. Here are a few before and after pictures.

Kitchen Before

 

Kitchen After

 Living Room Before

Living Room After

 

Call us crazy

So Josh and I ran a half marathon last Sunday in 18 degree weather. To make it worse, it was hilly, icy, and I was sick. We also only trained for 3 weeks for this thing.

Even though we were sore (me more than Josh) and tired, it was actually fun! I love that we have the opportunity to run in a beautiful state. We've grown to love Colorado and are going to miss it when we move to Alabama. No matter where the army takes us, we'll definitely eventually make this state our home.

A little closure

Josh and I visited our doctor today for a follow up and even though we didn't get great news, we left feeling a sense of peace. Dr. Bush told me (in the nicest way) that I have bad eggs. He said that sometimes the quality of a female's eggs diminish when she's 45, sometimes it happens when she's 28. You just never know. I'm only 30 and started trying to conceive when I was 26...unfortunately, for me, that was too late.

He talked to us about an egg donor but that doesn't feel right. I think knowing that we're out of options makes this adoption even more exciting.

We're also in a pretty big transitional phase of our life. Josh was accepted into flight school so we're moving to Fort Rucker, Alabama in April. Our lifestyle will change completely since we'll be in a small town. Thankfully, this will be a great opportunity for us to start saving money and looking into adoption agencies. I'm also very blessed to be able to work from home, which will really help us financially.

So onward and upward! Lots of changes are coming our way but we're excited.

Raw feelings

I use this blog as an outlet to share my true, real feelings. Maybe this is bad...maybe it's not. But I do think it's a good thing to be able to express how you feel, no matter how ugly those feelings might be.

I'll be honest - I've had my days since we found out about our embryo. Some days I'm fine and can see a bright future. Other days I'm mad. I don't want to say I'm mad at God because I'm not. But I am questioning Him. Some days I just sit there and ask Him why He is doing this? Why can't He just make this easy for us? What have I done to deserve this? And so on so forth.

But I also know that my life (compared to many) is SO easy. There are so many problems in this world that are a million times greater than our infertility.

I'll be honest - I want to be that person that has an amazing attitude about this. I want to be that person that puts her complete faith and trust in God, knowing that His plan is best. But I'm not there yet. And I feel ugly and shameful for it. At the same time, I know that God loves me even through my struggles. And I know that He is with me step by step as I work through my issues and strive for complete trust.