Accepting God's Timing

Today I'm going to write about something that I typically avoid talking about - fertility...or lack thereof. Josh and I have been TTC since February 2011 (obviously subtract 9 months from that due to his deployment). Altogether it's been about 14 months of trying. Last week, my doctor called to tell me that one of my fallopian tubes was blocked. I assumed that something was wrong since we were having issues getting pregnant, so in a way, it was relieving to get an answer. Relieving...yet still painful to know that this journey will never be easy for us. I've done some research on blocked fallopian tubes and a common cause is a ruptured appendix (something I went through when I was 9). The next step is to make sure that I actually ovulate (this is blood work that is drawn 21 days after my period).

I try to stay positive, but it's hard. I know there's a reason behind all this. I know that God's timing is best...but I'm not perfect. I still struggle with sadness, questioning, and wanting to give up. It's hard seeing all my friends with babies or getting pregnant. I've been trying to change my outlook - it could be worse...way worse. I've been so blessed and need to focus on those blessings.

So here's to a new year and a new positive outlook! :)