Keeping Faith

After two years of keeping my mouth shut, I've decided to start blogging about my fertility issues. I don't talk about it for many reasons. I feel like this is something personal between my husband and I. Often struggles are hard to discuss with other people (especially since most people can't empathize with us). Mainly I've decided to blog about this for myself. I want to be able to look back at my posts in the future and hopefully see the reason why Josh and I have to struggle through this.

I really can't explain the feeling of disappointment each month when I get my period. It's a deep hurt that often leads to anger and questioning. Don't get me wrong, I'm not angry with God. I completely understand that God has a plan for me. I've been so blessed and don't ever take this hurt out on God. I'm just angry that it's been so hard....more like a frustrated anger.

I read a quote that I need to memorize for these frustrated moments:

"The hardest part of faith is the last half hour. When it looks as if God will not answer, we give up and go on to something else."

I struggle with wanting to give up. Josh always tells me that it just isn't time yet. I wish that I had that good of an attitude. I have faith that God's will will be done. It's just really hard not knowing that will.