Retrieval - done!

Today was my retrieval. They were able to pull 7 eggs, which is a good number (pretty average). Everything went really well. I've been cramping all day but that's pretty normal. Now we wait to see how many of those 7 eggs made it. I'll hear from my nurse tomorrow and on day 5. By day 5, I should know exactly how many good embryos we have.

I'm so happy not to have to take injections anymore...what a pain (pun intended :))! The trigger shot (taken two days ago) was the worst. This went into the upper part of my ass. That's not terrible but the needle was ridiculously long. I was definitely sore for a couple of days :).

Josh was awesome today and took care of me all day long. I slept for a few hours with my snuggle buddy, Jax. All in all, it was a good day. We're blessed :).

Week 1 - Complete!

Well, we just finished our first week of hormonal craziness. I was taking two injections every night and up to four injections every morning. As you can imagine, that's not exactly fun...physically or emotionally. We also had daily trips up to Denver for ultrasounds and bloodwork. Because of these doctor's visits, I had to work over lunch and past quitting time at work in order to make up time. Let's just say, it was an exhausting week.

Thankfully, I have a wonderful, supportive husband who gets up with me, mixes all my medications, and drives me to Denver so I don't have to do that trip by myself. Speaking of wonderful husbands, we celebrated his birthday/being accepted into flight school last weekend with a fancy dinner at the Briarhurst (picture below).

The good news is that everything is on track. Currently I have about 5 follicles that are growing at a good rate. One of them is a bit further a long than the rest so they're trying to slow that one down by upping my Menopur injections. Funny story....Josh and I actually met a pharmacist that works in Denver in a Colorado Springs shopping center so that he could give us our drugs. Long story short, we ran out of Menopur and needed it immediately. Thankfully, this pharmacist lives in Colorado Springs and was willing to meet us somewhere. Still...it's a bit strange meeting a random guy in a parking lot at 9:00pm on a Friday night to pick up drugs.

Next week is our egg retrieval. I'm excited/hopeful!

Date night with my hubby

 One week's injections - we actually ended up adding to this supply

 The fun process of pinching skin and giving myself shots

 This is about $400 of medication...yikes!

Don't ignore your blessings

That may be a strange title but it's something I've been thinking about a lot lately. I think that most of us are generally glass half empty kind of people. When things are going well, we tend to go on with life but as soon as something doesn't go well, we become negative, depressed, or whatever it might be. Lately, I've been thinking about the direction our lives have been going...why certain things have or have not happened. I think if we fail to notice that God is working in our lives, that we can miss so many blessings.

For example, we recently had some good friends come into our lives. These friends are at the same process we are with infertility and are going through the IVF process two months before us. As much as I wish this wasn't difficult for them, it has been a blessing to be able to go through this process with other people who understand...who we can vent to and share joys with.

We were also blessed with money recently that paid for all of our medications. These IVF medications are not cheap! I worry about money...this is no secret. Two things have happened recently where I feel like God is telling me to relax. I got a raise at work that will actually cover most of the monthly payments for one of the IVF loans we recently took out. AND Josh just found out that he was chosen for Warrant yesterday! Not only is this a dream come true for him, but it will help us out financially. By the way, I'm so proud of him and how much he has accomplished!

So...we're moving forward with this IVF process and I'm feeling so much more at peace. My retrieval is schedule for January 29. This is the "surgery" when they remove my eggs. Since I have a low AMH level, it's harder to produce eggs. My prayers are that we can produce multiple so that we can hopefully make at least one good embryo. Obviously God is in control and I'm thankful that He's shown that to us over and over again.

This is really happening!

It feels so strange sometimes to think that I could be pregnant in April. We're actually going through with this IVF - something I honestly never thought we'd have to come to. I have a range of emotions but mostly I'm just excited and hopeful.

Right now, we're prepping. I'm currently taking birth control, which seems so counter productive! But it's necessary to get my body ready for this. We're also talking to pharmacies and ordering tons of (very expensive) medications, setting up appointments and IVF classes, and getting all necessary blood work and physicals done.

Some of our good friends are actually going through this process with us. As much as I hate to see anyone have to go through this, it is nice to have someone who understands exactly what we're going through. Since they're doing a fresh cycle, they're actually getting the embryos implanted in February. We'll be two months behind them (in April). It's so fun to see this happening in friends as well.

So onward and upward! I have a feeling 2015 is going to be a good year :).

Christmas blessings

We had a wonderful time spending the last few days at my parent's house. We were able to have the entire family (all 19 of us) together on Christmas eve. It always gets a bit overwhelming for me (you would never know I'm from a big family by this) but catching up with family and playing with all my nieces made it worth it.

 Holding my sweet niece, Avery

 Playing an exciting game of Pictionary

 Silly faces with Addie

Another Christmas blessing came in the form of money. Josh and I don't like to ask for money...in fact, I've thought about setting up a crowd funding account multiple times for the cost of our IVF but have never been able to go through with it. On Christmas day, two sweet people (who would like to remain anonymous) gave us a check to help fund our upcoming IVF. It's a lot of money...something that I know they don't just have laying around. They'll never know how much of a blessing this is to us.

This year, I'm so thankful for God's provisions. We may not have gotten everything we wished for, but God has blessed us far more than we will ever deserve. Most importantly, he kept Josh safe through another deployment and continued to grow our marriage through separation. All in all, 2014 has been a great year!

A letter to our baby

Sometimes I wonder who I have become...why I would ever be ok with taking out a loan to finance the chance of creating you. I'm a huge saver. I count my pennies and never spend irrationally. But here I am taking out a huge loan simply to TRY to conceive a baby....you.

Why is Josh doing this? He might answer this differently but I believe it's because he wants a child as much as I do...but more importantly, I believe that he cares so much for me that he doesn't care how much we spend in order to create a family. He's always been the one that thinks with his heart (which is why I love him so much).

I've realized that we can't put a price on love. That's what I want the most. I want a child to love and adore and to watch grow up. I want a child to make our family whole. And I know that Josh wants the same. We'll be paying this loan off for years, but it's worth it...you're worth it!

Josh will always be number one in our family. As much as I will love you, Josh will be a different kind of love. A love that I will need to protect and cherish. I truly believe that putting him first will make our family even more special...and ultimately, you will feel so loved by two parents who adore each other.

So here I am....a little sick to my stomach thinking about money....but so excited that we're finally getting a chance to have you. I know that this is in God's hands and I know that He will provide what is best for us. I just hope and pray that the best thing for us is you.

New doctor...new plan

We visited our new doctor last Friday. I have to say that I was a little bit apprehensive because I had read some reviews that he was a bit cocky. Thankfully, I didn't get this feeling at all. While he definitely looks impressive on paper, he only talked about some of that to prove credibility, which I actually like. It's good to know that my doctor knows what he's talking about :).

I also felt like he cared more about Josh than our last doctor. He was a surgeon in the military and actually gave us $2000 off IVF....which sounds good until I tell you about the price later :).

So long story short, Josh and I are both going through many of the same processes that we've already been through (lots of blood being drawn, urine testing, and a semen analysis). Even though we've already done all this, sometimes important issues fall through the cracks so it's important for our new doctor to get their own results.

Now here's the tough part...the cost. Fresh embryo IVF transfer is $14,000. Day 5 embryo biopsy and 23 pair chormose assessment IVF is $20,000....yep, that's right - $20,000!! And that's the one we're going with. Being a saver, I argued with Josh on this one. While the $20,000 is more expensive, it's success rate is also about 75%. The $20,000 also includes another IVF transfer just in case the first one doesn't work. At this point, it seems like the best option for us. When Josh told me that he wanted to go with the $20,000 one, I looked at him and told him that this means he won't be getting a new truck that he's been wanting for years. Thankfully, he's a good husband and teased that he would just name our child Ford or Chevy.

So that's the update. Looks like we're moving forward and this may happen as soon as February! Josh, unfortunately is on orders for Drill so he most likely will be gone in March. I'm excited/nervous. We really need prayers right now. Prayers that everything will work out, we'll have a healthy baby, and if it doesn't work, that we'll be able to accept this and move on.